From the Shepherd to her Life
by Spades And Swords
Summary: After the synthesis of all life on the universe, species have moved on and civilizations are starting to blossom once again. However, for Councilor Kaidan Alenko the promises of a new and better future lack from any real meaning and hope. However, the answer he seeks may not be so out of his reach.
1. Chapter 1

It was hard to imagine that a few years ago Earth was a faithful representation of hell. Not that he was trying to state that the other planets hadn't dealt with their own nightmares (Garrus still couldn't give him a full description of the situation of Palaven during the Reapers attack without losing his enthusiasm and voice midway) but Kaidan felt that Earth had seen the worst of it.

He knew he probably was being selfish to a fault, but saying otherwise would contradict his feelings. He did, however, try to show sympathy for the other races; and for some reason he didn't understand, the asari were the ones with whom his feelings flowed more naturally.

"Perhaps we should rest for a few hours before the ceremony, Kaidan."

"I'm fine, Liara." Kaidan said without taking his eyes off the codex. "To be honest, I'd rather to get this over with as quick as possible. I feel a bit dizzy."

"Are you having another headache?" Liara asked with honest concern, her arm covered with her omnitool "I've been working on a new kind of medicine for biotics. Well, for now it's mostly disjointed data Glyph has been gathering from different planets, but maybe it could be useful to lessen the frequency of your migraines."

Kaidan put the codex down and looked at Liara , with a weak smile on his lips and his hands behind his back.

"So now I am a guinea pig for experimental medicines? Well, it can't be worse than being in this office all day reading about the Elcor and the Hanar new propositions for trading. Though I guess I am lucky I have to read them instead of listening to them. As you can tell, I am one of the few people who didn't like what Francis Kitt's did with the Shakespeare plays."

Liara recoiled at Kaidan's words, her eyes looking down and appearing disconcerted, though not offended.

"No, I would never use you that way, Kaidan. How can you think that ? I don't even think I have the heart to use Shepard's old Space Hamster as a subject." She calmed down after a few moments and sighed in relief. "Oh, I see. You were joking. It amazes me that not even with this upgraded DNA I am unable to catch up with humor. And I think that Kitt's interpretation was unique."

Hearing _her_ name stung like the cut of a sharp knife. It was far worse than the headache he was indeed having at the moment. Kaidan made the best of his efforts to cloak his pain away from Liara, and it demanded so much of his mental strength that it physically exhausted him.

"Well, no one is perfect." He said with a shrug, trying to fake a good humor. "And if it makes you feel better, I can assure you that you are better at understanding humor than the geth."

"I am flattered…I think." Answered Liara, her voice resembling amusement though deep down Kaidan could hear the soft tone of sadness. The asari sighed and walked towards Kaidan. When she was close enough, she put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

It was so light that Kaidan could barely feel it. He held hers with his and squeezed it tightly. They looked at each other in silence.

Whatever comfort Liara tried to give Kaidan needn't words, and he preferred it that way.

Once he tried to speak, his voice broke. The lump on his throat was at the edge of undoing itself and flow through his eyes. He looked away and took a deep breath while Liara remained in the same position.

"I am sorry, but I think I'd rather be alone." Kaidan whispered, his tears kept at bay and his headache becoming insignificant in comparassion to the memories of Shepard. "Forgive me, Liara."

"No, I understand." Said Liara, nodding. She took her hand off of Kaidan's shoulder and gave him one last comforting look before walking toward the office's door. "I'll meet you later, when you are ready for the ceremony. I must insist you try to clear your mind, Kaidan. Perhaps that wasn't a good choice of words, but do it as a favor for your asari friend."

"I..." Kaidan started, holding his chin with one hand. "I will try."

"Good enough." Liara said. Before she left the office, she turned around and added. "See you later, Councilor Alenko."

After she was gone, Kaidan made his way back to his desk and sat down. He tried to distract his mind with the codex about the Elcor and the Hanar, but it no longer worked.

"Those big stupid jellyfishes…" He laughed absent mindedly. Sooner than later, the codex was again lying down on his desk, alone and forgotten. He stretched and yawend. "Maybe a little walk won't hurt."

However, that was easier said than done. He didn't have neither the energy nor the enthusiasm to go on a walk he would enjoy sincerely, but he needed to leave his office for while. Otherwise, he was afraid that the memories would overcome him.

Kaidan couldn't allow them to distract him when he was at work. And being the Human Councilor was a particularly stressing one.

And even with the upgraded DNA, politicians still had to find a way to make actual politics be more about action and less about bullshit.

As bad as it sounded, it was perfect to keep the memories away. Political bullshit was useful in its own weird ways, Kaidan couldn't deny it.

The problem surged when his job failed to keep his mind occupied.

_Not matter what happens…_

He slammed his fists again the table and got up, decided to get out of that office that still reeked of Udina's treason. Even thinking about that old bastard was upsetting, and yet he had no problem in sitting in that exact same chair he had used before his death every morning.

But did it really matter?

Udina was dead; he no longer cared about anything.

Dreams, hopes, ambitions, they all stopped having any transcendence the moment the bullet had pierced its way through Udina's heart, ending his life for good. A bullet that Kaidan had fired.

Meaningless.

The dead were meaningless. All of them, regarding of whether they died as traitors or legends.

No reason to worry about them, no reason to think about them.

Not even Shepard was worthy.

Kaidan stopped two steps away from the door. His legs were frozen and his face went numb. It amazed him how simple it was for him to think about it without pain or remorse, but whenever he tried to actually do it, he found it impossible.

He was all words and thoughts but little to none results.

Maybe he was fit to be a politician after all.

"Squeak!"

He gazed at the cage placed in the bookshelf near his aquarium. Normally neither the fishes nor a space Hamster would have been allowed inside the Human Councilor Office, but being part of the squad that pretty much was responsible for saving the galaxy gave Kaidan the right to ask for some eccentricities regarding the decoration of his work's space.

"Sorry little guy, I wasn't trying to wake you up." Kaidan tapped the cage gently as if he meant to caress the hamster through the glass. The tiny animal shook its whiskers before dashing back to its little fortress.

"Heh, you might be old but you sure are still quick." Kaidan said, feeling more relaxed. "I'm going out for a while, so be sure to keep my office safe. And if anyone tries to enter, remember: go directly to the eyes."

The hamster squeaked again.

"Wow, now you know how to answer me!" Kaidan laughed amused and then he scratched his head. " Maybe I should stop talking to the hamster so much…"

After feeding the fish (because Shepard had accidentally starved dozens of them to death for Kaidan to learn that leaving without feeding them was not a very good idea) , he finally left his office and went to the Commons.

People of all races surrounded him, too immersed in their conversations and lives to put any true attention to the Human Councilor that walked among them. Asari, Turians, Salarians, Humans,Quarians…even the Geth, they all had learnt to live in peace. Some species, such as the Batarians and the Yahrg still preferred to keep their distance and were no strangers to threaten the other species, but this wasn't surprising to Kaidan.

A synthetic-organic DNA was an improvement but not perfection on its own. If the galaxy really wanted to achieve a new order of life and evolution, they had to work on it.

"Easier said than done." Said Kaidan under his breath as the elevator doors closed in front of him, thinking of the floor he wanted to go. The last thing he saw was an elcor and a volus arguing. It was a shame synthesis hadn't helped them to speak faster. "Maybe some of us were just not meant to evolve. Maybe some of us…are hindered."

Again, the memories started to overwhelm him.

_No matter what happens, know that I..._

It felt like an eternity before the elevator finally reached its destination. His forehead was covered in sweat and his breathing was hoarse. He stepped out of the elevator clumsily, catching the curious eyes of a few strangers.

"Hey, easy there Human Councilor. One might think you are drunk." Said a familiar voice as Kaidan was grabbed by the arm and helped to regain his balance "That would be one hell of an anecdote to tell, but maybe not a good asset for your reputation."

After a few moments, Kaidan managed to catch his breath and smiled.

"I wasn't expecting to find you around here, Garrus. But you are a nice sight for sore eyes."

"Heh, only if you think of scars and this weird green glow as soothing."

They shook hands, and despite Kaidan still had the desire to be alone, meeting one his friends was a pleasant surprise.

Garrus had changed very little throughout the years, both physically and emotionally. Though after the defeating the Reapers, he had chosen a more settled lifestyle for the sake of his family and his homeworld, but he still went out on missions and acted as a military advisor when the situation demanded it, if only occasionally.

Curious about what had brought him to Earth, Kaidan started to question Garrus. The answer he got should have been an obvious one, but Kaidan thought his migraine might serve as an excuse for asking silly questions.

"Liara told me about this ceremony and invited me to come. At first I wasn't sure I wanted to, but contradicting the Shadow Broker is not a mistake I am about to make any time soon. Besides, I was a bit curious to see how Earth was doing since it became the new _Citadel_, if we can call it that way." Explained Garrus.

"It's still a work in progress, but we've been working on it. You might say we have achieved to replicate some of the Citadel's atmospheres already." Said Kaidan with pride.

"Like the snobbish feeling and the high prices?"

"Hey, that's not true." Replied Kaidan, followed by an awkward silence and a smirk from Garrus . "Okay, it's true, but it's something."

"It sure is, Councilor Alenko." Said Garrus, inviting Kaidan to walk with him "Seriously now, it's impressive, especially if you considered it's been less than a decade. Good work, Kaidan."

"Thanks." Said Kaidan . "Listen Garrus, it was nice to see you, but I should go now. The ceremony will start in a few hours and…"

Garrus interrupted him with a pat on the back.

"A few hours you said? Well, that means we have some time to have some fun. Is there a Purgatory Version Two around here? If not, be sure to put that in your _'things to built with urgency'_ list. Well, two friends can still have fun even without sexy dancers, drinks and loud music, believe it or not. Let's take a cab, I'll drive you somewhere spectacular."

"But I thought this was your first time here…"

"Irrelevant. Don't tell me politicians sucked all the fun out of you already, Alenko."

"No, but man, do they try."

Before Kaidan could stop him, Garrus had already taken a cab and sat on the driver's seat.

"Get in."

Kaidan's jovial attitude met an obstacle when he realized he now had little chances of being alone. He wished for a moment he hadn't left his office. He was willing to leave Garrus without any further explanation, and not out of anger, but simply out of desire for solitude. However, the memories stopped him. Being alone without having something to distract himself was far worse than being accompanied when he didn't long for company. He was fond of neither, but the first one was painful while the second one was just mildly annoying.

So without much enthusiasm, Kaidan got into the cab and allowed Garrus to drive him wherever he wanted to. He could hear the echoes of Garrus' conversation and jokes, but he answered most of them with one syllables.

"Are you alright, Kaidan?" asked Garrus, serious this time.

"Yes." Lied Kaidan "Just having a little migraine."

"Right. Well, I know just what it takes to heal headaches. Hope your aim and biotics haven't gotten too rusty."

"Yeah…" was everything Kaidan answered.

Garrus understood Kaidan wanted to remain silent and respected his choice by making no further attempts of starting a conversation and focused only on driving.

Kaidan decided to close his eyes for a few seconds that ended up becoming a sleep without a dream. Before he was lost in his unconsciousness, a cold whisper almost turned his peaceful sleep into a nightmare.

_No matter what happens, know that I…_

The last words however, remained unsaid and unheard.


	2. Chapter 2

With a simple shot, the bottle exploded.

It looked like a small firework, if they had scotch for filling. Kaidan used his biotics to accumulate the broken glass that remained and disintegrate it.

"And another one for Vakarian!" Garrus cheered after enjoying his success. Still with a victorious smile on his face, he handed over the gun to Kaidan.

"I'm just glad we didn't make a bet…" Said Kaidan, changing the gun's thermal clip. "Otherwise I would be making excuses about how little money I have."

"Come on, is a Council's payment really that bad?"

"Actually it isn't." Admited Kaidan, failing his shot and again using his biotics to pull the bottle back to him. "I just wanted to add some drama to my failing. It helps me deal with the fact that my shooting ability has gone this rusty."

"That's what happens to soldiers in times of peace. We must find a new way to make ourselves useful for society or else we end up as beggars or drunkards wasting every credit on asari dancers."

"No wonder politicians spend more time in bars than in their offices then. I once heard one of them wanting to build a new stripper club for high class people with an asari only staff. He said he would name it _'Hot Ass-aristocracy.' _"

Garrus aim threatened to fail him and he remained in the same position for a moments. Slowly, he turned around and looked at Kaidan in disbelief. He shrugged and opened the bottle, drinking from it in small sips.

"Yeah, he was quite drunk that day…"

"Well whoever he is, tell him I fully support him. I could even help in its construction now that I have finally learned how to use a hammer." said Garrus , putting the gun down and sitting next to Kaidan.

They were sitting near the edge of the roof, with their legs hanging down. Any other person would feel sick just by looking down and seeing the distance that separated them from the floor, but for hardened veterans from the war against the Reapers, it had a relaxing effect. After Garrus declared himself the official winner of the competition and saved the last remaining bottle to himself, they both spent some time looking at the landscape without saying much.

Earth had been rebuilt completely, but Kaidan couldn't deny it didn't feel like the same homeworld he knew before the war. It was the same air, the same soil and the same nature, but the life on it felt different. There were times, and not scarce, when Kaidan felt he didn't belong in Earth anymore. Yet, he had an unbreakable responsibility to humanity now that he was its Councilor, and considering the bad reputation Udina had thrown upon the job with his betrayal, the burden of his duty was too heavy to simply shrug off.

_She_ wouldn't have given up, so neither would he.

Easier said than done.

"You know, she and I had this same competition once back in the Ciatdel, after Udina's coup." Said Garrus. Kaidan's eyes widened but he didn't dare to look at his friend and instead kept his gaze lost in the distance. "I never said it out loud, but more than once I thought we weren't going to make it. Even with Shepard leading us, the chances of beating the Reapers were so slim, and after I saw what they did to Palaven… my hopes were scorched."

Kaidan's grip of the bottle tightened and he could feel how his headache was about to return.

"Yes, I know how that feels. I was hardly more optimistic. All I could think about was Earth being destroyed." Kaidan confessed.

Garrus nodded and laughed under his breath.

"But she didn't let that bring her down, did she? I admired that about her."

"Her cold head and stubbornness?" Said Kaidan, amazed at his nostalgia.

"Yes, and also her ability to keep her feelings hidden and make decistions. I don't think I ever saw her cry."

"Neither did I." admitted Kaidan with his voice barely audible.

People always said that talking about those who are gone is the first step to accept their deaths and move on. It was supposed to make him feel better, but all that Kaidan felt was a numb void in his stomach. He now knew that all the people who still believed in that crap were either children or deluded idealists.

"Shepard lost against me, but it wasn't until recently that I realized she might have let me win on purpose. Heh, I would have gotten upset if I had discovered it at the moment, but now I understand why she did it. And I think I feel the same way about her decision of doing this…"

Garrus stretched his arms and pointed at the visible green energy on his skin, a trait that was now common in all the living beings in the galaxy. Kaidan said nothing; he only wished Garrus would change the subject soon.

A colossal shadow hid the sun from them. Like a horrifying dark cloud, a reaper passed near the sky crapper, putting as much mind on them as a bird would.

"Hard to think we once would have pissed our pants if we even aaid the word Reaper, and now we just kindly ignore them." Said Garrus, sounding less enthusiast than before.

"I hate them, but what else can we do other than learning to live with them?" hissed Kaidan, frowning and putting the half empty bottle aside. "I know they help us with repairs and emergencies of the sort, but I don't think I will ever see them as nothing more than murderous machines. Machines that we… that we were forced to accept. Maybe that's how life always works: we never accept nothing willingly, we are just forced to put up with it."

"Kaidan, come one. If we had that mentality towards the other races, the krogan would not even try to get along with the salarian or us, the turians. The humans and turians relationship would be doomed too. What do you tell me about the biotics? Besides, we have proven most of theose conceptions are stupid prejudices. Wrex contradicted the krogan idea most people had just like Mordin did for the salarians. And look at yourself and Jack! Granted, Jack might have acted her part as the crazy biotic stereotype very well for years, but she was able to redeem herself while you became the Human Councilor."

Kaidan grew anxious and stood up. Garrus looked at him with peaceful eyes, prepared for whatever his friend was ready to throw at him.

"Enough, Garrus." Said Kaidan with a hand on his temple "I know what you are trying to say and I appreciate it, but I don't want to talk about it. I no longer believe in that and the more days it passes, the less I think I will believe again."

It was Garrus' time to stand up and face Kaidan. The bottles and the gun glinted after the Reaper finally allowed some sunlight to reach them.

"Believe in what,exactly?" Garrus inquired, almost challenging.

Blood pumped through Kaidan's head, only worsening his migraine and his temper.

"In the idea that this peace we live in is real!" Kaidan snapped. "I see it every day, how we all pretend to be flawless saints that get along when in reality we are just hypocritical fools that no longer hate each other because we all are exactly the_ same. _And it wasn't even our choice to be this way, which makes me think that all our efforts to finish the war just ended up in a cheap resolution made by the person we chose as our leader. Maybe this new DNA is just a giant step backwards we cannot correct. Maybe Shepard… made the wrong choice."

Garrus found it hard to gather the words to argue with Kaidan.

For Kaidan , finally expressing his thoughts out loud gave him a feeling of relief that was not comforting. As if the burden had left a void that was equally heavy and sour. Upon seeing at how confused he had left Garrus with his speech, Kaidan felt like a complete jerk.

"Sorry Garrus, I wasn't trying to confuse you. That's just how I feel about it sometimes."

"Relax Kaidan, I understand." Spoke Garrus, taking a deep breath. "To be honest, I have thought of that too. Spirits, I still do! But even if I have my doubts, I trust that Shepard was right. She always proved she was worthy of trust when she was alive, so I see no reason to distrust her so quickly now that she's dead. "

Kaidan's fists began to loosen up. He tried to fake a smile but to not avail.

"Perhaps. Thank you, Garrus."

"Anytime, Councilour Alenko. Hey, are you okay? Your nose-"

The taste of metal started to mix with the faint flavor of alcohol in his mouth. Not until it was mentioned Kaidan felt the warmth of his blood running down from his nose to his lips. He rubbed it away with the back of his hand.

"Oh, it's nothing." He said, a bit embarrassed.

"There's no need to be so mysterious. If your migraine was this bad , you should have told me. I don't want to take the Human Councilor to the Clinic and be the suspect of a Turian coup against humans, it would be incovienient." Said Garrus, jokingly hitting Kaidan on the arm.

"The sad thing is that that's not an exaggeration on how they would react."

"Drama just makes things more interesting, and I'm okay with that. Come on, we should get back down there. If I'm not mistaken, that ceremony of yours will be starting soon." Said Garrus, grabbing the gun and putting it back inside the cab.

Kaidan nodded and was about to do the same with the two half empty bottles, but the the sudden quake underneath his feet forced him to stop. It felt as if the skyscraper was going down, with both Kaidan and Garrus making great efforts in order to keep their balances.

Then, the cry of the same Reaper that had passed near them a few minutes ago deafened their ears. Kaidan shouted in pain and felt to his knees, feeling how his eardrums were about to explode. More than the shriek of a machine, it sounded like the cry of a dying animal.

His eyesight became blurred and his nose began to bleed again, dripping from his chin and forming a small crimson puddle on the floor.

"Kaidan!" Garrus was by his side in a matter of seconds. "Kaidan, we must get out of here now! Something has-"

The explosion silenced whatever words he was about to create. The cry of the Reaper was replaced with the crashing drumming of a detonation, followed with a wave of heat that for an instant felt as hot as the sun's. There was no time to recover or to fully understand what was happening for immediately after the collision of the now dead Reaper against the ground gave place to a stronger earthquake than the first one.

"Let's go, now! Give me your arm." Said Garrus with his voice filled with adrenaline.

Though still taken over by his migraine, Kaidan managed to gather enough strength to get back on his feet with Garru's help. They threw themselves inside the cab without any sense of caution. Kaidan hit his shoulder against the door but he didn't notice.

"Hold on, Kaidan!" Garrus turned on the cab and drove it off the roof just before the truly strong vibrations took place. He thought of the channel he wanted to contact and allowed his soldier instincts to flow freely once again. "C-Sec, this is Garrus Vakarian. A Reaper was just shot down. Probably a malfunction or a meditated attack, send units to investigate ASAP. It felt right in the Commons, expect heavy civilians casualties! Councilour Kaidan Alenko is with me, he needs medical assistance, I repeat, he needs-"

Kaidan grabbed Garrus's shoulder firmly. The dry blood above his upper lip was all the trace left of his migraine. He was pale and breathed mostly in gasps, but his eyes showed a determination Garrus could have mistaken with anger.

"I'm fine. Focus the medical attention on the civilians near the crashing zone." Kaidan urged, sitting straight on his seat and using his omni-tool to inject himself with some medi-gel. "Garrus, take me there too. I need to figure out what happened and check on the damage."

"Are you kidding? You are the Human Councilor, if I should take you anywhere it's the hell away from the dead Reaper."

"Now!"

Garrus decided there was no way he would talk Kaidan out of his decision after he had stopped being the human councilor for now to assume his role as an Alliance soldier once again. It felt like the old times, and even if Shepard wasn't there anymore, the responsibility of solving that whole mess was theirs again.

And honestly, Garrus found some satisfaction in it. War had left deeper scars than the ones he had on his face.

"Understood, Major Alenko. We are back in action."

And so they drove off, with the screaming of people and the smell of smoke increasing as they approached the corpse of a fallen old enemy.


	3. Chapter 3

The streets were a mess of death, fire and confusion. Neither Kaidan or Garrus wished of seeing another scene like that ever again. It reopened old wounds that were supposed to be scars by then, and for Kaidan it was a tangible proof of how little he had accepted what had happened in the war against the Reapers. They landed the cab one of the few spots that was not occupied by fire or the fleeing civilians.

Once they were out, the two veterans began to act. The smell of smoke and burning steel infested the place like a plague. Kaidan's forehead was soon covered in sweat.

He caught with the corner of his eye the sight of a sudden explosion. Gathering all of his energy he created a barrier to protect as many people as he could from the hungry flames. His reaction was more of a fast instinct than a meditated strategy and he managed to save a large group of civilians; however, he failed to rescue everyone, and an elcor and a volus were devoured and transformed into ashes in a heartbeat.

He felt a knot in his stomach, but he couldn't allow any more thought to the death when so many lives were still at stake. Standing to his right, Garrus had done his part by saving a couple of salarians that were about to be stomped to death by the terrified crowd. He sharpened his sight.

"We must try to organize this people before they cause any more damage with their fear." Garrus said to Kaidan, sounding so similar like his younger self that Kaidan was thrown back in time when Saren was still the greatest threat of the galaxy. "If we point to them a route to safety they'll be more likely to listen and cooperate."

"This whole place is covered with fire. I doubt there is any kind of safe route nearby." Exclaimed Kaidan, still doing his best to keep the uncontrolled fire at bay.

Garrus looked at his surroundings while clenching his jaw. His eyes left no place unexamined.

"Over there!" He pointed to the weakly standing building near the bridge that connected the Commons with the Presidium. The bridge had been destroyed midway, with a gap too wide for anyone to be able to jump across it. "If we can make those ruins fall and cover the destroyed part of the bridge, we could create a way to the Presidium. Not the best way to repair the holes on a bridge, but right now we can't wait for the Bridge Constructions Association to show up."

Kaidan analyzed the plan and discovered too many flaws and risks on it for his taste. With all of its cons, there was hardly a better solution in a place surrounded by fire and with several panicked people trapped inside.

"But how are we going to make it fall down?" asked Kaidan at the same time his body began to feel the repercussions of the over effort of his biotics.

"Leave that to me. Just make sure to keep the ruins that may fall further than planned away from the civilians!" Garrus was holding a grenade in his hand. Every morning he armed himself with weapons he didn't truly believe he would use with the same naturalness he put his clothes on. It was a good thing, he thought, that turians kept their militarized culture regardless of the DNA upgrade. "Focus your barriers in them."

"Negative, the fire is already too out of control!" shouted Kaidan.

"Damn it." Cursed Garrus under his breath. The civilians were as out of the control as the flames. A few had tried to get out of there by stealing the cab, but they were too scared to properly do so without violence.

Knowing time was running short and feeling the heat almost against his skin, Garrus again examined the area, anxious to craft another plan.

"I'll hold both the fire and the ruins off. Just do it at once." Said Kaidan with enough confidence to give Garrus hope on his old plan once again.

"Kaidan, you are already too weakened."

"Not even remotely."

"But…"

"It is my duty to keep this people safe, Garrus. And I need your help to accomplish that."

Garrus looked at Kaidan. After an instant, he nodded.

The trust that had been formed among Shepard's crew was still strong enough for the memebers to believe in each other's words.

The grenade parted from his hand and swiftly made its way through the smoke. When it was close enough to the building, Garrus changed the gun's thermal clip and aimed.

He took the shot.

And spite of the burn that was now forming on the right side of his face, he didn't miss.

The explosion forced the building to finally give in. The collision only made the civilians more frightened. More than one ducked down when they saw boulders coming down from the sky to crush them. An asari mother shielded her child with her body, with her krogan husband covering them both and bracing himself to protect his family from the impact with his life.

Their lives were spared not because of a miracle, but thanks to the barrier created by a biotic that had his own burning hell inside his head.

The family, accompanied by the rest of the civilians, looked in awe as the destruction stopped for a moment. All the fire and falling ruins were halted by Kaidan.

If he had ever made a greater effort before, he couldn't remember at the moment. His nose (and considering the wetness soaking his sideburns, his ears) began to bleed again.

"Everyone, come this way! MOVE!" urged Garrus to the crowd, not willing to let Kaidan's efforts go to waste. He had to force more than one civilian to get back on their feet and cross the bridge. It was imperfect, but it would allow people to escape.

Finally given directions to safety, people began to act in a more civilized way. Some even started to help each other, like an elcor who was carrying a fainted turian and a human on his back, and the krogan husband was making sure other families were able to cross as well. They were a minority, but Garrus knew the few always made the difference.

He had to go to the middle of the bridge to make sure it would not collapse and that if not all , at least most of the civilians would make it out of there alive.

"I'll be back for you Kaidan. Just hold on a little longer." Garrus said, feeling a twitch in his chest as he turned his back on his friend and run off to guide the others.

Kaidan closed his eyes in a effort to keep his mind focused and his biotics working. Slowly the screams and cries began to fade. When he opened his eyes again, after to what had seemed like an eternity when it could not have been more than minutes, he saw desolation. The only company he had were the rests of the people who didn't make it.

They were abundant in terms of species, gender and age.

Kaidan looked at them without flinching, it was the least he could after he had failed to save them. He then heard some steps near him.

"Garrus, I'm right here…" he whispered, but the man he saw wasn't a turian, though he still recognized him.

_Them_, it was _them._

"Hold on, son. Dad will get you out of here."

The kid the man was carrying couldn't have older than twelve. He shared his father's face, though his were now covered in dirt and ash. His eyes were closed, as if he was dead.

The father was limping, with the right side of his face bathed in blood that sprouted from his eyebrow. Just like Kaidan, he was surrounded by blue energy and a barrier just big enough to protect his son and himself. He was too immersed in saving his son to mind Kaidan at all.

"Kaidan!" Garrus appeared running from the distance. His shout made the father react and he stopped walking, with the body of his son resting on his arms. Garrus noticed him too. "Jacob? What are you-?"

"Help him, Garrus! We got hurt when the reaper fell down. He needs medical attention or else-" Jacob's voice broke, and in his mind he cursed his injured leg as he rested his forehead against his son's "My Shepard will die…He is only twelve years old, damn it!"

Garrus came closer to Jacob and his son. The boy was still alive but just barely.

"Take him and get out of here, Garrus." Kaidan said, and for the first time Jacob noticed him. "I can still hold the fire and the ruins long enough time you to escape-"

"No, you don't get to play hero today, Alenko. Not on my watch." Garrus interrupted him "I said I would get you out of here and I will."

"I can barely stand; I will only slow you down. Take Jacob's son … and get out of here."

Just as Garrus was about to speak, Jacob interrupted him by handing him over his son. The boy was light as a feather. In Garrus' arms he looked even smaller.

"Don't worry, I'll stay behind and help Kaidan get out of this place. My biotics might not be as strong as his, but I can create a barrier to keep the both of us safe from the fire."

Garrus stared at Jacob and held his son closer to himself. Jacob caressed his son's face. It was the last he did before running to Kaidan, with his eyes glassed with tears.

Hating himself for an instant for not being able to do more for his friends, Garrus ran with all of his speed towards the bridge and cross it as quickly as he could, taking special care in keeping the boy as steady as possible.

Jacob and Kaidan let a few moments pass by to allow Garrus to cross the bridge safely.

"You've done enough Kaidan. Now it's my turn." Said Jacob, putting one of Kaidan's arms over his shoulder. Kaidan's feet failed him and soon all of his weight was resting on his friend. Jacob canalized his biotics and created a barrier similar to the one he had made when walking through the commons while carrying his son Shepard. It surrounded them both like a cloak. "Okay, I'm ready."

And with that, Kaidan let go the little grip he had on his power and his barriers ceased to exist. Jacob grunted as the aggressive fire hit his own barrier. Holding his fist tight, he and Kaidan slowly made their way to the bridge. They had to watch their step in order not to trip with the corpses.

"Hey Councilor, don't pass out on me. We need a lot of talking to do; it's been years since we last saw each other." Said Jacob in gasps in an attempt to keep Kaidan from fainting. "And I know what you are thinking. Well, it seems I couldn't talk my wife out of naming our son like the commander. He is a great kid, Kaidan. You'll see that once you get to know him; he is a great kid…"

Kaidan muttered something in response and smiled, but his voice was too weak for Jacob to understand what he was saying. Seeing he was getting a reaction, Jacob kept talking to Kaidan in a friendly manner all their way to the bridge. His voice was as calm and collected as Kaidan remembered it. It created the illusion of them being chatting peacefully in Kaidan's office instead of being walking for their lives with only a barrier protecting them from their deaths.

"We are almost at the middle of the bridge already. And look, not a drop of sweat on my yet. This is…" Jacob made a pause to catch his breath. "This is a piece of cake compared to the Omega 4 Relay, and I didn't survive that just to die here, I can't do that to my family. It seems that both times, a Shepard is guiding me."

_I should have been there with her too, but I…_

Crossing the middle part of the bridge was exhausting, but they managed to get to the other side of it safely. Without Jacob's help, Kaidan doubted he would have been able to do it.

_I'm always the one being saved. Eden Prime, Virmire, Mars, Earth and now this. I am no leader, she was. And yet she is death and I'm still alive._

Kaidan was still conscious when they made it across the bridge. Though there it still was plagued with fire, it was nothing compared to the other side. Jacob's barrier dissolved and he fell to his knees, bringing Kaidan down as well.

"I'm sorry about that; I just need a little rest. How are you holding up, Kaidan?"

"I've never been better."

"Well, I can at least hear you now, that's a start." Jacob stood up again and created a smaller and weaker barrier around them. "Let's get going to the clinic. I hope you are ready to keep hearing to my blabbering ,Councilor, because I am going to continue talking until we get there. So you better not leave me talking to myself."

"That would be…very rude." Whispered Kaidan.

They had only taken a few steps forward when a shadow began to get closer to them. It was another survivor, and judging by its figure, it was human too.

"Hey! Are you hurt? Don't' worry, we are on our way to the Clinic, we'll help you get there too." Offered Jacob to the newcomer. He tried a little harder and expanded his barrier to cover the stranger. "We will be fine, okay?"

The stranger, a woman, said nothing. She had no face to be seen for she was wearing a helmet. Kaidan looked at her and he understood she was not a normal civilian like the rest. Jacob realized this as well.

She was holding something in her hand.

It was a gun.

There was nothing they could have done to avoid the bullet she fired a second later. It was inmediatly followed by Jacob's scream. Kaidan could hear the cracking sound of Jacob's bone breaking when the bullet pierced right through it. She shot him in the shoulder.

Kaidan's face met the ground immediately after.

"Jacob!" he said as he saw his friend lying on his back, covering his shoulder with his hand. It soon became soaked in blood. The stranger gave them no break and dashed towards them at an incredible speed.

She ignored Kaidan as she grabbed Jacob by the neck and slammed his against the ground over and over again. Jacob tried to free himself, but it was in vain.

Kaidan also tried to attack the woman, but his biotics were so weakened by then he did no damage.

The stranger only ceased to attack when Jacob stopped moving. His whole body was hanging limp from the woman's hand, as if he was a rag doll.

She disposed of him by throwing him away into the distance. Kaidan could hear the bumping sound of Jacob's body landing again on the ground.

The anger that possessed him gave him enough strength to make one efficient attack against the woman. It was still very weak, but he managed to get the helmet of the woman's head.

"Damn you!" Kaidan said to the woman with hatred. She said nothing and just walked towards him. Kaidan felt his heart thumping in his chest. "I swear you will pay for this."

Again she said nothing. All she did was to grab Kaidan by his neck, as she had done with Jacob, and lift him off the ground.

Kaidan looked at her defiantly, scratching her arms with his hands.

The smoke vanished, allowing Kaidan to see her face. All of his anger disappeared from his heart and was replaced with disbelief. The eyes of the woman expressed as much emotion as an ice floe would have.

"Shepard?" he muttered. Kaidan then realized he was dead. There was no other explanation possible.

The woman still said nothing, and instead just put one of her hands on Kaidan's face. He felt a strong pulsation, and then everything disappeared.


End file.
